9 Ways Men Can Deal with Self-centered Japanese Girls

Guys find it cute when Japanese girls act a little selfish, but you wouldn’t want them to take it too far. How can men deal with women’s selfishness in ways that encourage them to listen? We surveyed women to introduce ways men can best deal with Japanese girls who are self-centered.

  • 1. Be direct and tell her, “You are being selfish.”

    No image

    “I know I need to reflect on myself when people are straightforward and tell me that I am selfish, instead of being indirect.” Showing that you are serious can help women reflect on their self-centered actions. However, be careful not to scold or patronize her.

  • 2. Persuade her gently by saying, “I would do this for you, but it wouldn’t benefit you if I did.”

    No image

    “I would talk back if he gave me a lecture or got upset with me.” Many women said they are willing to listen if guys remain calm and talk them out of their self-centeredness. Instead of saying something like, “Don’t put me on the spot,” which shows you are more concerned about yourself than about her, emphasize you are thinking about what’s in her best interest.

  • 3. Let her know not everyone will accept her behavior by saying, “You can act this way in front of me, but be careful in front of others.”

    No image

    “It helped me come to my senses and learn that I need to watch what I say.” Women become aware of their selfishness when they are told that not everyone will let them have their way. Keeping your message simple and nonpatronizing will make a good impression.

  • 4. Chew her out as if you are talking to a family member by saying something like, “You’re a good person. You get it, right?”

    No image

    “I find it cute when he acts like my big brother. It makes me want to listen to him.” Some women listen better when guys purposefully treat them like a beloved family member. However, this is inappropriate when talking to an older woman, as it may come off as belittling.

  • 5. Listen to her, then give her an explanation, such as, “I get you, but…”

    No image

    “I respect guys who can do this. I know that they are confident, grown-up men.” Some women are understanding when guys handle the situation calmly. The key is to let her talk first before you call her out on being self-centered.

  • 6. Tell her, “I don’t mind you being selfish, but you sound cuter when you say ‘please.’”

    No image

    “I can’t argue back when he mixes criticism with compliments.” Women will usually listen when guys pay them compliments, like telling them that they are “cute.” This strategy works even more effectively when you let her know that you appreciate her listening to you.

  • 7. Tell her, “Today is an exception,” and make her promise she won’t be so self-centered again.

    No image

    “I appreciate his selflessness, but I also feel bad that I’m making him compromise.” Some women will feel both grateful and repentant when guys let them be selfish, even just once. However, if you make an exception every time, women won’t take you seriously, so watch out.

  • 8. Touch her physically while cautioning her gently, such as poking her as you say, “Please don’t do that.”

    No image

    “I give in when he starts tickling me.” Being playful is a great way to get your point across, even when you are calling someone out on being selfish. Playfully kissing her neck or ears can be effective. The key is to be gentle with her so she gets your point without getting upset.

  • 9. Tease her and joke around while letting her know she’s not going to get what she wants.

    No image

    “I just give up when he jokes around and changes the subject.” You can let her know what’s wrong without anyone getting angry by teasing her about it. Just be careful not to sound aggressive when you mean to make a joke.

Last updated: October 22, 2017