9 Moments When Japanese Girls Are Grateful to Have Their Ex-Boyfriends as Close Friends

The vast majority of people don’t keep in touch with their exes, but in rare cases exes choose to remain friends. This time, we surveyed Japanese girls to discuss moments when they are grateful to have their exes as close friends.

  • 1. When he gives her genuine dating advice from a male perspective.

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    “It’s great that he can reflect on our relationship and give me advice so I don’t mess things up with my current boyfriend.” You can be your ex-girlfriend’s dating coach based on your own experiences with her. However, she might get upset if you criticize her for what happened in the past, so share your views only when she comes to you for advice.

  • 2. When he shares her hobbies, like music and sports, and they can keep each other informed.

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    “He knows my musicality inside out, and now he’s my favorite bandmate.” Exes form a special kind of friendship because they are very familiar with what the other person likes. You and your ex could make a great team once you are over your romantic feelings for each other.

  • 3. When he shares his expertise to help her, like teaching her how to use a computer.

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    “He happily agreed to help me out, and that helped me to see him in a new light.” Giving your ex a hand when she needs it by helping her in your area of expertise, regardless of how your relationship ended, can impress her with your generosity.

  • 4. When she feels like going out for drinks and she feels comfortable enough to invite him out.

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    “It’s so easy with him because I can open up to him more than I do with my regular guy friends.” Women feel comfortable inviting their exes out because they know each other’s lifestyles. Once you are no longer in love with your ex, you might feel comfortable in her company as a best friend.

  • 5. When she can open up to him about family problems she can’t discuss with her friends.

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    “He also knows my family. He helped me cope when my mom was sick.” You can be there for your ex-girlfriend in times of serious trouble. When she talks to you about her concerns, don’t pity her by saying “that must have been hard for you,” because it can sound patronizing. Instead, empathize with how she feels.

  • 6. When she can keep hanging out with their mutual friends.

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    “We just take it as how it is and make it work.” You can continue interacting with your mutual circle of friends without making things awkward. Your ex will feel comfortable hanging out with you and the group if you make an active effort to include her.

  • 7. When she’s at a crossroads in life and he can offer sincere views on the issue because he knows her well.

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    “He knows both my strengths and shortcomings.” You can give your ex-girlfriend honest advice when you know how she thinks and you know her friends. Brainstorm with her to figure out what’s in her best interests in the long run and you will continue to be an essential part of her life.

  • 8. When she can have friendly competition with him in areas of work and study.

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    “I feel that our friendly competition helps us grow.” Being painfully aware of each other’s dreams and goals can help exes build a great friendship. One reader told us, “We count on each other for support when we face challenges at work.” This shows that you can also help each other in difficult times.

  • 9. When she genuinely feels happy for him after receiving an announcement about his marriage or the birth of his children.

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    “He’s like family.” Women can share their ex-boyfriends’ happiness when they are still an important part of their lives. It’s rare for people to continue caring for each other after their romantic relationship is over, but you also know that your life is richer when you have more people who you value like a family member.

Last updated: October 15, 2017