Occasionally a woman will find her boyfriend breaking up with her, when she thought everything was peachy. Many factors can contribute to a breakup, and many women are able to look back on the relationship and learn from their mistakes before heading into the next. We compiled the results from a survey of 268 single women in their 20s and 30s to bring you “9 Times When She Admits, ‘It Was My Fault, I Deserved to be Dumped.’”
“I was always trying to appear tough, in a weird way.” Many women regret putting on too much of a show of being strong in front of their boyfriend. Letting your boyfriend dote on you when you are down and letting him see you even when you are at your worst will bring out his caring nature and strengthen your relationship.
“I just couldn’t forgive him for not thinking exactly like I did.” Some women are doomed to repeat the same fights over and over when they aren’t mature enough to accept differences. Even among lovers, differing and even conflicting thoughts or opinions are very common. Being able to accept those differences may be the first step to having a real adult relationship.
“I hate being touched.” Some women realize that the reason their relationship ended was due to a lack of the kind of physical affection that is normal in a relationship. Some feelings of “love” are difficult to communicate to men without any physical expression. Simple physical expressions of affection will lead to a deeper and more trusting relationship.
“He got tired of me messing around with his head.” Some women play mind games to intentionally upset their boyfriend, in an attempt to get him to pay more attention to them. These childish acts don’t endear their partner to their antics. There are other ways to get his attention that will produce a more caring relationship, such as going out with him more often and doing thoughtful things for him.
“I mistakenly thought he wanted to hear every little detail about anything I had to say.” Some women will talk too much about their past relationships. Instead of gaining his trust, stories about past lovers generally just make the current boyfriend uneasy. No man likes to hear stories about his girl’s conquests. Be careful not to tell too many stories that might make you seem callous about love.
“I was basically just passive.” Some women waste time always waiting for their boyfriend to take the lead. Men get turned off when their partner is too passive in the relationship. Try planning the dates once in a while. It is important to work together to make dates fun for both of you.
“I suddenly realized that it was like I had him locked up.” Some women unwittingly make their boyfriend stop socializing with his male friends in an effort to keep him to themselves. While some jealously can be cute, it starts being unhealthy when he feels chained up. Respect his right to have a normal social life.
“When I was hunting for a job, all I would think about was working.” If there is a big gap between how much each partner wants to see the other, it’s not surprising if the relationship falls out of balance. Make a concentrated effort to plan time for your partner, for example, working extra hard during the week so that you can go on dates on the weekend.
“I just thought that was normal.” Some women will stress their boyfriend out unnecessarily by not taking his feelings into account. Some women will stress their boyfriend out necessarily by thoughtlessly doing things that upset him or make him uncomfortable. Talk about boundaries and what makes both of you feel uncomfortable, and make a set of rules that fits your relationship.
People get dumped for many reasons, and no one can suddenly transform into “the perfect girlfriend.” We can all grow by reflecting on our past mistakes, and use what we learn to make our next relationship that much more wonderful.
Last updated: February 24, 2018