9 Ways You Become a Heavy Burden to Him

You are madly in love with him. You want him around you all the time, the perfect boyfriend. Are you being overbearing, though? Today, we asked men if they had overbearing girlfriends whose affection was just a bit too much to handle. Here are their responses, detailing when they felt like they were being suffocated by love.

  • 1. You send email and text messages regardless of the time.

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    “I have to get up early and I’m too exhausted to deal with her late-night messages.” You want to connect with him 24/7, but being inconsiderate of his schedule will place undue stress on him when he’s busy. It is basic etiquette to avoid texting him at work or late at night, but you should also find out if there is a time of the day he prefers not to receive your text messages.

  • 2. You expect him to be with you on all his off days.

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    “I have other things I want to do on my day off.” You look forward to his day off from work so you can go on a date, but it is not fair to restrict him from the other things he enjoys in life. It is just as important for him to have his own personal time to get together with his own friends or to enjoy his hobbies.

  • 3. You talk about your issues all the time.

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    “Once in a while it is OK, but I’m tired of listening to her complain every time we get together.” You love how easy it is to talk to him and you feel that you can share your deepest thoughts with him. Try not to go overboard, though. No one likes to hear you whine. Think of positive topics to talk about and keep your relationship upbeat.

  • 4. “Do you really love me?” You ask for his confirmation too often.

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    “Does she not trust me?” Did you ask him or did you interrogate him? It may be an innocent question to validate his affection for you, but if it becomes too frequent, it may start to sound as if you are doubting his credibility. Instead of questioning him, try leading him by first sharing your thoughts.

  • 5. You criticize his spending as “wasteful.”

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    “She doesn’t understand my hobbies, so it makes me mad when she criticizes me for spending money on them.” Unless he spends his time and money on something that has a negative impact on you, it’s none of your business. Try to support (or at a minimum understand) him, even if you don’t agree.

  • 6. You leave him to make all the decisions, yet you always find something to complain about.

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    “If she doesn’t like what I choose, she should make the decisions once in a while.” Particularly when he is planning a date night for you, your lack of cooperation puts him under a lot of stress. You may feel that he should take a lead in planning a unique date for you, but you could at least make suggestions or help him research locations.

  • 7. You depend on him to take care of you, even when he is exhausted.

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    “When I’m feeling sick, I want her to leave me alone.” You act like a spoiled child and seek his attention, no matter what. This is a sure way to become a burden to him. Study his expressions and body language to assess the circumstances. Sometimes, keeping your distance and managing your own needs can also be a sign of affection.

  • 8. You suspect an affair every time he is busy at work.

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    “I’m burning midnight oil at work! She really irritates me.” You are too quick to suspect him of having an affair if you cannot get hold of him for a couple of hours. You are definitely being irrational. Unless there is a reason for you to be suspicious, you should learn to trust him and not be so paranoid.

  • 9. You blatantly disapprove of him relaxing in his PJs at home.

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    “It’s my own home! Let me relax however I want.” You may have an ideal picture of your boyfriend relaxing at home in designer clothes, but it is unreasonable for you to expect that from your boyfriend. You and your boyfriend should discuss your expectation and come to an understanding.

Published: July 24, 2017