When you were pursuing your Japanese girlfriend, you were passionate and showered her with compliments. That all changed after she decided to go out with you. “A man won’t feed bait to a fish he’s already caught.” You’ve turned into a lazy and boring boyfriend. She’s not satisfied with the real you, so don’t be surprised if the relationship quickly turns sour. Today, we asked women to share their experiences with past boyfriends who didn’t live up to their first impressions.
“What happened to ‘I love you’ and ‘you’re so hot’? When I ask him if he still loves me, he looks annoyed. What’s up with that?” As soon as she became your girlfriend, you stopped complimenting her. Women need to feel your love as well as hear it. If she complains that you no longer give voice to your affection, stop everything you’re doing and let her know that you love her more than ever.
“Women need to be cautious with men who send too many emails before dating.” Apparently, these types of guys are more likely to stop emailing their new girlfriends once they start dating. If you post something on your social network site, make it a habit to email her at the same time. That way, you’ll maintain the steady rate of email communication without trying.
“This is the worst kind of man.” Are you the type who becomes stingy as soon as she starts to go out with you? If you want to gain her sympathy, explain why with something like, “I want to save some money for our future” or “I’m planning a trip for us.” She’ll be more understanding.
“When we first started to date, he always picked me up from home and took me back. Not anymore!” You turned into a lazy boyfriend who makes her drive through a crowded downtown area and sends her off to a dark parking lot by herself. If you tried to impress her by being a good shepherd before she dated you, assume that she expects you to do the same throughout the relationship.
“Every date is a stay-at-home date. It’s typical of men who live alone. Worse, he has me run errands and asks me to pick up something for him.” You used to take her out to romantic places, but not anymore. If you work from home or have another reason that you need to stay home, try treating her to one of your home-cooked meals. She’ll appreciate your effort.
“When he was pursuing me, I could do no wrong. Look how that has changed!” As soon as she agreed to date you, you started to mold her to your style and criticized her outfits and hair. Instead, make it a constructive suggestion: “I love how you look in that dress. How about fixing your hair like this?” That way, your girlfriend won’t feel like you’re being overly critical.
“At the beginning, he made time to see me, even if he was really busy. He used to say that I cheered him up and that he didn’t feel tired anymore.” That lasted only a few months, and now you’re either too busy at work or too tired. Even if you can’t spend an entire day with her, suggest something simple such as watching a movie together, and she won’t feel so neglected.
“Even when I lean over to kiss him, he shuts me down, saying, ‘you don’t know who’s looking.’ Give me a break.” Your ideas of public displays of affection have changed 180 degrees. Even though it’s not appropriate to display affection everywhere, there must be a few places that are acceptable. Show her that you care whenever possible.
“He’s always looking at something else when I talk to him.” Your eyes are the windows to your soul. Are you forgetting to communicate with your eyes? It’s a total turnoff for her, especially if you’re focused on your cell phone or watching TV while she talks. Make it a habit to put away all distractions when you’re with her.
Last updated: October 16, 2017