9 Moments When Your Japanese Girlfriends Feel Overshadowed by Their Boyfriends’ Exes

No Japanese girl wants to think about their boyfriend’s former girlfriends. But careless things a guy does can make a Japanese girl feel uncomfortable about his ex. This time, we surveyed Japanese girls to describe moments when girlfriends feel overshadowed by their boyfriends’ exes.

  • 1. When she finds matching glasses in his room.

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    “Please don’t serve me a drink in these glasses.” Although there’s nothing inherently wrong with the glasses, it’s not a good idea to offer your girlfriend a drink in glasses you used with your previous girlfriend. Also make sure your girlfriend doesn’t find other items you bought when you were paired up with someone else.

  • 2. When she hears about the places he went with his ex on dates.

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    “I feel in the shadow of another woman when he talks about visiting these places.” Some women get anxious when guys talk about visiting the places where he went on dates with his ex. These kinds of stories carry romantic overtones and can make women wonder if you are nostalgic for the past. Don’t say anything more than that you’ve been there before—keep your story simple.

  • 3. When she finds a stuffed animal in his room.

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    “I know this belonged to his ex-girlfriend. I feel like it’s possessed.” Some women overreact when they find stuffed animals, or any other feminine objects, in their boyfriend’s room. They hate the idea that these items carry sentimental value. Out of consideration for your new girlfriend, it’s wise to get rid of your ex’s belongings if you didn’t get the chance to give them back previously.

  • 4. When she feels compared to someone else.

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    “He said that I’m kind … I appreciate the compliment, but I feel like I’m being compared and that doesn’t make me feel good about myself.” Women are often hurt by careless comments guys make. When women feel that their boyfriends are comparing them to someone else, they automatically think it’s their previous girlfriends. When you are making a comparison, let her know who the other person is, for example, “You are as sweet as my sister.”

  • 5. When she sees a picture of him smiling.

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    “I guess this is how he used to smile at his ex.” Some women feel down when they sense the presence of their boyfriends’ exes from the way they are smiling at the camera. Be sensitive when showing your girlfriend pictures from the past, even if you don’t have any pictures of you with your ex.

  • 6. When he’s wearing a handmade scarf.

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    “He doesn’t have to wear it in front of me.” Some women might be upset if they think that the handmade gifts are from their boyfriends’ ex-girlfriends. If a gift was from your ex, stop using it, especially in front of your new girlfriend. However, if the gift was from someone else, reassure your girlfriend by casually mentioning who it’s from.

  • 7. When he’s overly knowledgeable about female brands.

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    “I wonder if his ex-girlfriend was into the brand.” As this comment shows, women often misunderstand why guys know about female brands. Some women may feel conflicted about this, so unless your ex-girlfriend was the one who introduced you to the brand, let your girlfriend know how you got to know about it.

  • 8. When she finds a song on his playlist that is unlike his taste in music

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    “I wonder if it was ‘their song.’’ This makes me feel uncomfortable.” Some women are jealous of the influence ex-girlfriends had on their boyfriends. You might want to put away books, music, and any other items that show your ex-girlfriend’s influence.

  • 9. When he talks about Valentine’s Day memories and other couples’ events before they started dating.

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    “I’m sure his ex crossed his mind when he was talking about it.” Memories can also make women jealous. Valentine’s Day, in particular, is especially romantic, so don’t expect women to be indifferent when you talk about it. Try not to bring up these topics of conversation.

Last updated: October 13, 2017