8 Ways to Deal with Seeing Your Boyfriend with Another Woman

If you happen to see your boyfriend out with another woman, you might end up getting so upset and angry you lose control. But reacting emotionally is likely to have irreversible consequences. In this installment, we’ll share ways to handle seeing your boyfriend with another woman based on feedback from female readers who’ve experienced this.

  • 1. Take a deep breath and calm down.

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    “Don’t scream at him immediately. Just keep calm and observe. If it turns out he’s not cheating, going off the handle will cause problems later on.” No matter what happens, staying calm is an important first step. At the very least, it’s better to play it safe and observe how your boyfriend interacts with the girl, what kind of person she seems to be, and how the situation plays out before deciding how to handle the situation.

  • 2. Be brave and say hello.

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    “If your boyfriend acts a little awkward, you’ll know right away that something is up.” In this approach, you walk right up to your boyfriend and say hello to the girl he’s with. There’s a high probability that the girl is a coworker or acquaintance, so the key is to act natural and casually introduce yourself as his girlfriend. If you notice him acting strange, it’s probably better to avoid interrogating him on the spot.

  • 3. Call your boyfriend from somewhere he won’t be able to see you.

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    “If there’s nothing going on, he should just answer the phone normally. The important thing is to make the conversation as normal as possible.” With this approach, you can investigate things from a safe distance. Sometimes he might not answer if he’s doing something work related. In that case, ask him why he didn’t pick up later. If he lies, you’ll know he’s cheating. By using multiple checkpoints like this, you can gauge your boyfriend’s reaction and get to the bottom of things.

  • 4. Walk right in front of him on purpose.

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    For this approach, walk in front of your boyfriend in a really obvious way and judge his reaction and expression to see what kind of relationship he has with the woman he’s with. If he makes all kinds of excuses, doesn’t make any comment at all, or pretends the whole thing never happened, he’s probably hiding something from you. The main benefit of this approach is that making a judgement based on your boyfriend’s reaction puts you at an advantage.

  • 5. Move closer and observe the situation, making sure he doesn’t see you.

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    “If there’s nothing suspicious, I don’t even tell him about it. I’m not interested in pointless confrontations.” With this approach, you judge for yourself what kind of relationship your boyfriend has with the woman without him knowing you’re there. If you observe their interactions up close, you should be able to get a good idea of what’s going on. If you don’t see anything that seems off, you might be able to avoid bringing it up with him at all.

  • 6. Wait a day and then ask him, “What did you do yesterday?”

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    “If he lies to me then, I’ll tell him the truth: ‘I saw you yesterday.’” This approach involves you directly questioning your boyfriend and not beating around the bush. When asking this kind of question, start off by talking about what you did and making some small talk first to make the question seem more natural. This allows you to corner him so he can’t deny it; then you can find out the truth.

  • 7. Casually ask who she is later on in conversation.

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    Simply asking your boyfriend is another method you can use. If you’re not good at planning things out or acting from a distance, this might be a good option. It’s best to just work it into a conversation naturally, but there’s no reason to make that into a performance. As long as you keep yourself from getting emotional and just ask him for the truth, you should be able to avoid any awkwardness.

  • 8. Drop a hint in a cute and jealous way, like saying you'd hate to see him with another woman

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    “‘You’ll make him think, ‘She’s so cute.’” This approach allows you to share your feelings of jealousy with him honestly, and as an added benefit, it might make him think you're even more cute. However, using his visit with another as a reason for accusing him or getting upset could annoy him. Make sure you limit things to explaining your feelings to him.

Last updated: February 25, 2018